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Monday, December 29, 2014

Book Review: Stung



 

I didn't enjoy this book at all. I didn't even finish it.

The MC, Fiona, fell asleep when she was 13 years old, and wakes up 4 years later. The world has been destroyed.  She has a tattoo that she doesn’t remember getting that looks like a spider, except it has 10 legs. She covers it up with makeup because heaven forbid anyone seeing her with a tattoo.
I’m sorry but after being asleep for four years, think about the state of your body. Malnourished and probably disgusting.
In this world, there is a wall. Behind said wall, people have lots of babies and are very rich. Also they have a lot of honey because the bees are extinct now due to pesticides. I really wanted an environmental message shoved down my throat, thanks.
Outside the wall, life is misery. There are the beasts, the people with the tattoos who have gone insane, which somehow Fiona doesn’t. I don’t know how she doesn’t, but bending the rules for your special MC is lazy. There are also the Fecs. They live in the sewers, and therefore, feces.  Clever, clever.
Then there’s raiders. Basically what they sound like, raiding places.
Militia protect against the beasts and the raiders. Why they don’t let the fecs stay with them is beyond me. They don’t seem to like each other. I don’t see why the militia hires the fecs so they can all work together, but that’s not my problem.
After Fiona is captured by raiders, the militia rescue her and detain her, putting her in magnetic cuffs that can be activated and deactivated at will.
She meets a soldier, Bowen, who just so happened to be her childhood crush. I don’t know how old Bowen is, if it said I can’t remember, but from what I gather he’s probably in his late teens or early 20’s when the book takes place. Of course Bowen falls for her too, but it’s honestly rather disturbing how quickly they get close.
After Fiona puts on a sundress, Bowen says he ‘won’t be able to control himself’ while she’s wearing it. This honestly made me feel a little sick. He sounds like he can’t control whatever urge he has somehow been controlling without a problem before. This is just kind of a creepy guy ick factor for me.
To be honest, that’s about where I put the book down, but I skimmed to the end just to see if there was anything worth reading. I honestly wish the author had written a story of her slowly going insane. How cool would that be to read? 
There really wasn’t much in the way of plot either. She gets found by the militia and they’re escaping. Big whoop.
I had high hopes for it, I really did like the idea, but as I read the book I was disappointed.

If you read the book, what did you think? Did the end redeem itself?

-Ranger

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

One-Shot Wednesday

You were supposed to die yesterday...imagine what that day would have been like, waiting to die...? And why are you still alive? 
Yesterday, I was paranoid. Now I think I'm immortal. 
I was supposed to die yesterday, but I survived without a scratch.
I'm going skydiving today.
The plane takes off. My heart is racing, my hands are sweating and shaking. But then I remember, I don't have to worry.
Going into this takes much less thought now. I'm unstoppable.
Untouchable.
Unkillable.

We reached our target altitude and the instructor helped me jump.
All of a sudden, my wrist burned. It burned so painfully that I had to pull my sleeve down to look.
The date on my wrist had changed.
It was today.
I fell the whole way, begging and pleading to every possible god or spirit out there to let it be wrong, but when I pulled my parachute cord, it didn't open.

-Ranger

Monday, December 15, 2014

Grabbing a Reader's Attention




When writing, one of the most important things in a first chapter, especially to agents, publishing houses, and editors, is a gripping first chapter. Of course, this can be done multiple ways. Because you all know how much I love my lists, I'll make a list of the top five ways you can hook a reader or a publishing house on your work. Illustrated with Guardians of the Galaxy GIFs because I really love that movie.

1. Start your story as late as possible
Doing this will keep your reader guessing, and as a result, keep them reading.

It will entice them into continuing to read.

You want the reader to be making this face
Because this is happening and they want to know why
2.Introduce the characters and set the mood.
Often times the first chapter tells us a lot about a story. The character's voice, who the main character is (a little bit), and a general idea of what this story is. Is it a comedy? A sci-fi shootout? A romance? 
This is a good time for the reader to get to know who they're going to be reading about.
The Reader
The Character



3. Make the reader care about said characters
For heaven's sake, why do we care about Bob Jones in his quest to find the Rabbit cup of bunnytown? I know that's a dumb example but you get the idea.

*cries bitter tears*
 


4. A killer first sentence never hurts.

I've seen books where the first sentence is mediocre, but I always die a little inside.
My opinion on boring first sentences


5. Above all, don't make it boring.
Boring first chapters are like my pet peeve. Like really. They suck. Hopefully following this list will help combat it a bit. I couldn't find a good way to integrate dancing baby Groot in, so here's one anyway. 
You're welcome
 

Happy Writing!
-Ranger





Wednesday, December 10, 2014

One Shot Wednesday

So this week, I added to Blindness and created a new story called "That Kind." I'll keep weekly updates on those. Normally I'll add more every Friday, but this week I got all excited and had to add more. Anyhow, here's this weeks:


"You'll never find him, Russel!"

Taro pulled against the ropes holding him to the tree. He knew what was coming, Russel's famous one-two slashes, but he didn't care. His brother was safe, and that's what mattered.

"Oh really?" Russel leaned into Taro's face, his ugly dead eye just inches from Taro's healthy green ones.
"Alright." He smiled and swiftly slashed the blade across the back of Taro's left hand.
"Are you sure?" His smile grew and he touched the blade to Taro's other wrist. Not making a cut, but clearly not afraid to do so.
Taro nodded.
Hot pain flashed through his wrist.
"Alright." Russel smiled as he turned his back to Taro.
"I'll give you some time to think it over. I hope the vampires don't get to you first."

-Ranger

Monday, December 8, 2014

Henchmen

So I'm sure most of you know that a good villain has henchmen. But most henchmen I would say have their own code of conduct. So, without further ado, here is the Henchman code of conduct:

THE HENCHMAN CODE OF CONDUCT

1. ANY HENCHMAN SHALL NOT AND WILL NOT ACTUALLY HURT THE HERO. THAT IS TOTALLY LAME AND SHOULD BE SAVED FOR THE MAIN VILLAIN TO DO.

 

 

2. YOU MUST BE EXCEPTIONALLY STRONG AND PREFERABLY STUPID.

THIS SHOULD BE YOUR VILLAIN'S EXPRESSION

3. IT IS YOUR JOB TO ACCEPT WHATEVER STUPID TITLE THE VILLAIN GIVES YOU, BE IT PAWN, PANSY, OR POPPET.

YOU ARE WORKING FOR A CRIMINAL MASTERMIND, YOU SHOULDN'T CARE EVEN IF YOUR TITLE WAS BOB MCJOE

4. IF YOUR LORD AND MASTER IS SOMEHOW KILLED,  DO NOTHING. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING BUT MILL AROUND UNTIL THE HERO COMES AROUND AND SLAYS YOU ALL.

 

5. IF ALL ELSE FAILS, DIE. YOU ARE EXPENDABLE.

  SO ENDS THE HENCHMAN CODE OF CONDUCT

So what do you think? Anything I missed? Would you write a henchman like that? I might. We'll have to see.

-Ranger

Friday, December 5, 2014

New Page!

Well you asked for it, and here it is!
I expanded on my one-shot Wednesday!
I made a new page for it, and if all goes to plan, I should update it weekly, adding another picture to the mix. At the moment it looks to be a revolution story, but we'll have to see how it goes.
You can take a look at it here, or there's a link on the top.
Hope you all enjoy!
-Ranger

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

One-Shot Wednesday

I almost forgot. That would be really awful.

 

They say the old rickety building used to be something before the war. Some monument or  something. Nowadays I mostly use it to look out for them dead folk. They don’t care about monuments, no sir. All they care about is that ten pound slab of meat that lives up there in yer noggin.
If you’re clever and you know how to run and climb, you can avoid the varmints, but some of us are sick. Elderly. Young. Disabled. Jack lost an arm to them the other day, he hacked the thing off to avoid…you know…turning. Poor fella. I hope he don’t get infected and end up turning anyhow. We’re stationed at the top of that huge tower and an entire pack o’ the living dead is moving towards us. One trips over a shopping cart, but instantly gets back up again.
Oh.
It’s that kind.
I hope I’ll make it through the night.

-Ranger